#32 Tag You’re It
Tag is such a simple game. One person is designated as the tagger, and everyone else runs away as fast as they can. If caught, the tagee becomes a tagger and the cycle repeats itself until everybody has been tagged. Now, according to the rules of the game, you don't want to be tagged… It's a hard job, running around trying to round up people who have no desire to be caught…what if we do that with God?
We run and run, hoping not to be caught and tasked with chasing other people…makes sense..tag is hard when you are chasing others..and yet Jesus pursues us. Romans 8:34 says that Jesus is at the right hand of God, praying on our behalf and petitioning our lives to His Heavenly Father. He chases us and stands at the door of our hearts, knocking relentlessly. (Revelation 3:20)
If you open the door of your heart, be prepared for 2 things to happen. First, you'll realize that what you have been running away from is what you've needed. The love, forgiveness, and grace of God will flow through you. You will find that He loves, you, regardless of where you have been or what you have done. Forgiving yourself will be a process, but over time you will see that the back window of your life doesn't define you…but it gives others a window to see where Jesus has brought you from and where He's taking you.
Second, you will be tasked with playing the hardest game of tag in your life. You will begin to chase people who ran away like you did. But don't be discouraged. That door, that place where Jesus came to save you, is the entryway to a place that others need saving from. That path you ran to escape from God is a path others are running on as well.
The world needs your story, your history. It needs to know how far you have come from where you started, the path you walked, and where Jesus tagged you. Paul was tagged on his way to kill Christians (Acts 9:1-7), Jonah was tagged on the way running from God (Jonah 1:3), and Moses was tagged many years after committing murder (Exodus 2:12)... You are never too far from the Lord to be tagged by Him. He chased you, so that you may chase others.
Tag, you're it.
#30 What’s Killing Marriages/Relationships These Days?
There's a simple answer and a complex one, so I'll go with the simple one first. All marriages/relationships (Healthy ones) are the product of individuals deciding to engage in them. We choose our life partner. We choose our friends. We choose those whom we consider our "tribe." The dissolving of those relationships is simply a choice from either one or both parties for it to be dissolved. Someone decides, "You know what....I don't want to do this anymore." and they decide to no longer engage or feed into the relationship. Typically, anything that's not fed will eventually die.
Here's where the complexity lies...why do they dissolve? I think we underestimate the cost of giving our all to someone. There are many who believe that communication is the key to a healthy marriage, which I believe is true. However, there's an inherent assumption that the surrounding environment is not in chaos, thus making communication a much simpler matter. Communication can seem to be easier until you have to tell your spouse something that may crush them. Communication can seem to be easier until the bills can't be paid due to terrible spending habits. Communication can seem to be easier until someone has a breakdown and mentally/emotionally retreats, becoming unable to have a conversation. Communication can seem to be easier until your attempts at showing love are met with rejection. Communication can seem to be easier until neither of you has slept in days because the baby won't stop crying. Communication can seem to be easier until job loss/health problems pose to drive a rift between partners. Getting up every day and choosing to go "all in" on this thing called "relationship" can be both scary and exhilarating all at the same time. The ebbs and flows of life have a way of changing our desire to engage in this daily practice. And it's here where I believe the other answer falls.
Our underestimation keeps us from showing up to practice loving someone from moment to moment. We've been trained to expect it to always be easy, fun, and full of laughter. Our society places a beacon on the highlights of relationships but nobody talks about the low points; the patience it takes to cultivate this desire to be all in with someone. There's a line in traditional marriage vows that goes "I promise to love and cherish you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep myself only unto you, for as long as we both shall live." Sometimes, the "forsaking all others" is us forsaking our own desires. We have to forsake our desire to pursue others. We have to forsake our desire to lash out in anger. We have to forsake our desire, and sometimes right, to stand angry and bitter. We have to forsake our desire to think it would always be easy.
Getting to know someone can be easy. Consistently deciding to stick with them, even when we don't want to, is where relationships get extremely difficult. Especially because it's very easy to find what we "want" at a moment's notice. We live in a society where people have become preferences or, better yet, prizes. They are either a physical portrayal of everything we have ever wanted or their presence fulfills inner desires that we haven’t been able to quell. We can get whatever we want at a moment's notice, so why stay in something that no longer serves our happiness? This relentless pursuit of happiness can cause us to lose sight or, more regrettably, completely forsake what we already have. That is where I think many fall short.
#29 Don’t Worry
History has taught me to be careful about what I say because it can come back and bite me unexpectedly. Everybody has heard the phrase, “don’t worry about it.” Generally spoken by a trusted individual, we are told this during times of stress or anxiety. It’s sound and seemingly simple to do. “If I don’t think about it, it will go away.” The Bible tells us not to do it.
“6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
From personal experience, we all know that worry never helps. Matter of fact, it tends to make things worse. We spend hours pondering over mistakes and their possible ramifications; creating the worst-case scenarios and taking measures to avoid them. Most of the time, these efforts are for naught and we end up mentally and emotionally exhausted over something that never came to pass. Does any of this sound good to you? To me, it sounds like a nightmare and feels like one too. So, if worrying is a terrible idea, then why is it so easy to do?! It’s not healthy, comfortable or beneficial. However, it acts as a default response, for many of us, when it comes to the issues of life.
Last week, while I was walking around my church, I decided to try something. The breeze was creating a whistling noise that I enjoyed. The birds were flying around, singing to one another. Unfortunately, it was a moment I couldn’t fully enjoy because I found myself thinking. Thinking about what? Literally anything! As an overthinker, this is my instinctive extracurricular. I think and analyze everything! So, I decided to try and turn that off for the walk and just enjoy the moment. IT WAS HARD! See, what made this difficult is that my mind wanted to wander. That’s not a bad thing, but it became clear to me that not thinking about a topic is much harder than it sounds. I had spurts that resembled the flicking of an on/off switch. I would be enjoying nature, then boom! I was thinking about something. Though this example isn’t based on worrying about anything, in particular, it highlighted a truth (at least, subjectively) that often goes unnoticed when it comes to worrying.
There are moments when we feel like we can’t control what we think about. Is this true? I’m not sure. It certainly feels that way to me at times. Worrying is easy to do because the issue becomes a centerpiece for our thoughts to focus on. If a negative situation happens at your job, then your thoughts may begin to revolve around what happened. We don’t ask for this to happen; it just does. So, is there a way to conquer this response? You can absolutely win this fight on a DAILY basis. Philippians 4:6-7 gives us a great place to start when worry begins to creep into our lives: Pray About Everything. Yes! It is fine to let God know what is going on in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. His love overshadows all. When you pray about everything, it is laid before Him. You’re putting the issues of life in front of not only Him, but also yourself, hopefully creating a place of perspective. The key part of this is that we don’t do the conquering, He does. HIS PEACE will guard your hearts and minds in Christ. Our peace can’t do it, but His will. Worrying is something that we can’t battle by ourselves. However, we have the greatest ally that will fight with us and win for us.
#28 Sovereign God
Even in the midst of the storm, God, you are still sovereign.
While I sleep, you are sovereign.
When I wake, you are sovereign.
When I am unsure of myself and my abilities, you are sovereign.
When I am sure of my doubts and anxieties, you are sovereign.
When I understand, you are sovereign.
When I doubt, you are sovereign.
When I do, you are sovereign.
When I don’t, you are sovereign.
You are sovereign.
#27 Looking Back
I originally wrote this in June 2019, but never published it. Reading through it all these years later, I find much of what I wrote is still applicable to me today.
If 18 months ago, someone would’ve told me where I would be now, I’m not sure how I would've responded.
The first thing that comes to mind is laughter. I mean, it is said that laughter is the best medicine, and being a college graduate with no clear plan definitely made me feel sick at times.
The second response might have been shock.
“Psssst, Dajuan…….I have something to tell you. Listen carefully, because it is very important for you to know this. In 18 months, not only will you be working for a Fortune 50 company, but you will also be going to grad school as a seminary student. You’ve already been thinking about going, but you have no idea how to get there. Don’t worry, the opportunity will show itself in due time. Also, internally, it will be one of the most hectic times of your life. You will learn things about yourself that you never knew, and be challenged in ways you never wanted. You’ll make the big mistake of asking God to give you patience and to grow you as a person. Your mind will race at unimaginable speeds until……..it just stops to a screeching halt. This absence of clarity will be terrifying, but you will have to fight it. There’s no more time for running away from what makes you uncomfortable.
Your spirit will cry and laugh seemingly at the same time on more than one occasion. The absurdity of circumstances will have you confused for reasons that you won’t even understand yourself, and searching for the answer will bring its own problems. Your heart will be broken and mended consistently; bringing what you hide out in front of you and coming to terms with it. There will be some days where the only thing you’ll wish for is the clock to move forward by 12 hrs, catapulting you past what the day holds in store. The mirror will switch between friend and foe regularly, and some days you won’t know which one is staring back at you.
But, even with all this going on, there’s one thing you can’t forget: God hasn’t gone anywhere. As a good parent, He’s training and shaping you for what He has for you. Even in the moments where He feels distant, reach your hand to the sky and look at the space that surrounds you. That surrounding space is just a fraction of His presence. He’s there in the times when you think He isn’t, surrounding you with his love and grace on a daily basis.”
The third response would’ve been doubt. “How……..just…….how? You see where I am right? No job or vision for the future. All I’ve got is a pocket full of sunshine, and my days seem to be getting darker and darker. Look God, I’m not saying it can’t happen, I just don’t see how it will happen.”
The least likely, but optimistic response, would’ve been pure delight. “Yes Lord, I accept everything that’s coming with an open mind and heart………” I won’t even entertain this notion for too long because, while it is the epitome of total faith, trust, and obedience, I haven’t reached that point in my faith where I will readily accept whatever God has for me with total submission and deliverance from my own desires. (He's still working on me)
Not that it’s ever a real fight with God involved, but, until His work is completed in me, I will try to be completely obedient to His will.
So, here I am, 18 months later. It has been a roller coaster, but a necessary time nonetheless. God is good, and his plan is better than what I could come up with. At least, that’s what I would like to believe. I may not always like his processes, but His ordering of my steps guarantees that the outcome will be for my good…. Right? Well, we’ll have to wait and see.
#26 The Purpose and Power of Reconciliation
The first experience I remember having, with reconciliation, took place when I was around 10. Being a young kid in a private school, you can become acutely aware of what you lack versus what you own. In my case, this realization took place in the form of video games. Not having a job really weighed on me, (actually, not having money weighed on me) and I began to devise a plan to make some money and buy a video game I’d been wanting for some time. One day, I came home from school and quietly slipped into my parent’s room in their absence. With my father’s jeans pockets unguarded, I slipped $20 out of his wallet and into my own. That weekend, we went to Toys R Us and I purchased the game, having no idea that my father knew I had taken his money. When we got home, he expressed how disappointed he was in my action. But, he did something else that I never expected. He reassured me that, regardless of what I had done, he would always love me as his son and that I would have to work to regain the trust I had lost. The relationship that I had willingly broken, for my own gain, was in the process of being restored. That, my friends, is reconciliation. I want to take a look at 2 Corinthians today and talk about how Christ restored our broken relationship with God when Adam sinned as well as reconciling His own relationship…(More on that later.)
So, 2 Corinthians is another one of Paul's letters in the New Testament. If you’re at all familiar with the New Testament, then you’ll know that the majority of these letters are written to specific churches, identifying specific problems, and providing wisdom on how to deal with them. 2 Corinthians is the second of two letters that Paul wrote to the church in Corinth. Putting it lightly, they were a hot mess. From church divisions to sexual debauchery, everything that could’ve gone wrong did go wrong. Imagine what Moses saw the Israelites doing when he came down the mountain the first time…..yeah, it was bad. But, this particular letter is written as a follow-up to the 1st. The church has begun to get its act together, and Paul is now teaching them the steps of righteous living. Whereas the first letter is about correcting bad behavior, this letter is about introducing and explaining, and encouraging good behavior. Enter, 2 Corinthians 5 where Paul begins to expound, just a bit, about the nature of the church body’s relationship with Christ.
The first part of chapter 5 sees Paul talking about the temporary nature of the flesh. He says, “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.” He’s putting forth the notion that though our physical bodies may be destroyed, we have the eternal residence of Heaven to look forward to. He also encourages his people not to take the way they live their lives so casually because at some point we will all have to give an account for what we did with the body we were given. (For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (Hang on to that “what is due us” line.))
The second portion of Chapter 5 talks about both our vertical (with God) and horizontal (with people) relationships. More specifically, Paul talks about the purpose behind why he lives his life in the manner he does. (read verses 14 - 15) Before I go any further, I want to reiterate something. Christ loved us so much that he humbled himself and descended into a world full of something he hates, sin. He didn’t die because he was excited about it; he died because he knew His blood was the only sufficient sacrifice that could pay our penalty of eternal death. If you don’t take away anything else from this message, remember that God loves you and Jesus’ death is proof of that. Back to the text, Paul says that he’s compelled by Christ’s love to live for Him instead of himself. He, then, begins to talk about how Christ was once regarded in the flesh but He’s no longer known that way. (Paul’s making a statement that Christ was beyond just a man but so much more.) It’s in verse 18 that we see his first mention of reconciliation in this text.
The easiest way to understand reconciliation is to think about a relationship, in your life, that was damaged at some point. Did you have a falling out with a friend? Did you stop talking to your parents/spouse? Were you ignoring relationships because someone hurt you? This is where reconciliation comes into the picture because in its simplest form; it’s the restoration of a relationship. That awkward moment when you and your best friend have to talk about that guy you both like/liked in college….that’s the process of reconciliation. It’s the movement from broken to restored. Paul applies that to the church in Corinth and says “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” Now, this begs a question: what did it mean that Christ reconciled us back to himself? Let’s take a quick trip to the Garden of Eden.
Way back in Genesis, we find the fall of man and the sin that started it all. Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and were kicked out of the Garden. Now, what Paul was stressing in 2 Corinthians 5:18 was that this sin did more than just physically remove people from the garden. The second thing that happened was that our perfect relationship with God was destroyed. In the same way that my theft broke my father’s trust; Adam’s and Eve’s sin broke the whole relationship with God for a while. He clothed them in animal skins and would soon require animal blood sacrifices as a temporary atonement and attempt for restoration. Unfortunately for those living in the Old Testament, these sacrifices were never meant to be enough to restore us back to Him. Earlier, I made a comment about “what was due us” when we are judged. The truth is, we deserve to be eternally punished. However, Christ offered Himself as the perfect sacrifice, and His death served as a new bridge to replace the one that had been broken. His death mended what should’ve been eternally broken, all for the sake of the world He loved. But wait, there’s more.
Remember how I said Christ descended to Earth to save mankind? That’s not a simple statement and there’s a little bit to unpack here. So, the Triune God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) decides to reconcile the world back to Himself and the Son is sent to complete this task. Jesus is perfect, sinless, and in complete harmony with His Father on all accounts. His death brings reconciliation not only to the Father but also to Himself and the Holy Spirit. Hehehehe, see you thought it was just reconciliation with the Father but not so fast. Jesus Christ’s resurrection ushered in a new comforter that was to be bestowed upon anyone who was a believer. (Bestowed as in granted a relationship with) Not only has our reconciliation restored our relationship with God the Father through His Son, but the Holy Spirit serves as a guide that we can call upon at any moment. That relationship only exists because we have a relationship with God through Christ.
So, what does this mean for us? Well, there are two major things that I want you to take away from this. First, Jesus’ sacrifice is the only thing that can restore our relationship back to the Father. You can’t be “good” enough to get into heaven. You can’t do the right things, think the right thoughts, give to enough charities, feed enough homeless people, etc… Our relationship with God is not established based on performance, so you can breathe a sigh of relief and take off some of the pressure of being “good enough” for God. His son’s death was good enough to open the door to a relationship with God the Father, and we should love Him unconditionally for that.
Secondly, in the same way, that Christ was willing to reconcile us back to himself, we should be willing to reconcile our relationships. Am I saying you have to be buddy-buddy with everybody? No. But, if we are to live like Christ, then we must learn how to genuinely forgive and restore broken relationships. This task is not easy, and it may be one of the most uncomfortable and difficult things we must learn. But, the love of Christ, his reconciliation, and the Holy Spirit have called us to a ministry of reconciliation. If Christ can humble himself enough to reconcile a relationship, so can we.
#25 A Man After God’s Own Heart
With “a man after my own heart” endorsement from God, it’s needless to say that David’s heart was often in the right place. From humble beginnings as a field worker, God’s plan placed David at the forefront of the Israelites as their leader for 40 years. From defeating neighboring countries to writing Psalms, he was a man among men. However, even with all his love and reverence for God, he was not immune to the sinful nature of the human heart. The life of David tells the story of God’s redemptive grace from an interesting perspective. It’s told from a position of power and weakness, simultaneously. It’s told from the position of someone who was destined to reach the top of the power ladder and rule everything, did it, lost it all, and eventually reclaimed what was lost. David’s story reflects how even with good intentions and a heart to serve God, we are yet still susceptible to the power of sin. But, even so, God is willing to restore us if we let Him.
David’s origin mirrors that of a humble servant. Out in the fields, he was completing the tasks his father had given him. Now, while he’s busy following orders, there’s a prophet in Jesse’s house looking for the next king. All of David’s brothers were present and inspected for kingship; none of them were chosen. Instead, Samuel asks Jesse if all his sons are present, to which he replies, no. David is summoned from the fields and is anointed to be the ruler of Israel. Now, this is a pivotal moment for him. At this point, he knows his ultimate destiny and could begin to act like a king, outwardly righteous and haughty. (This is one of the reasons that Saul is rejected, as king, by God.) However, unlike the king before him, David takes a humble position and resumes his duties, waiting on God to make His move. Over the next few years, those movements begin to happen. David slays Goliath, which establishes his name within Saul’s army. He secures a place within the palace by playing the harp for Saul and creates a family bond with his son, Jonathan. Saul attempts to kill David on multiple occasions, but God protects him. Eventually, he becomes the king, just as he was anointed to be.
Now, this is where the story begins to take off. As mentioned earlier, David has received favor from God. He’s blessed beyond anything he could have imagined, and his legacy will be established for generations to come. With all of this going for him, what happened? The answer is simple, sin. One fateful night, his lustful heart got the better of him. He took a wife who didn’t belong to him. After finding out she was pregnant, he attempted to hide his guilt and make it look like her husband was responsible for the pregnancy. With his plans falling apart at the seams, he eventually decides to have her husband, Uriah, sent to the front lines to be killed. Because of his actions, David watches his family tear itself apart. Rape, incest, murder, and mutiny are just a few of the things he must endure as punishment for sin. However, even in this horror story, God’s grace never leaves him. Slowly, David’s kingdom comes back to him, albeit at the cost of his son. This is what was written about David’s reign. “Then David rested with his ancestors and was buried in the City of David. 11 He had reigned forty years over Israel—seven years in Hebron and thirty-three in Jerusalem. 12 So Solomon sat on the throne of his father David, and his rule was firmly established.” (1 Kings 2:10-12)
So, how does this story lead us to the Gospel of Christ? Let us look at Adam in comparison to David. The beginning of their stories is obedience. Adam is tending to the garden as he was commanded by God. Similarly, David is in the field, following the commands of his earthly. The biggest distinction between the two is that Adam is considered perfect, as in he’s sinless. Adam is the face of all humanity, and David is anointed as the face of Israel. Eventually, they both make decisions that change, not only their lives but of those around them. Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit and David engages in a forbidden act. Both of them rebelled against the Lord and tried to hide their guilt. Adam is punished by not only having the garden taken away from him but also cursing humanity with the various consequences of sin. David has the kingdom taken away from him, loses a child, and runs from the place he called home.
The message of the Gospel can be summed up in one concept; redemptive grace. It’s the idea that humanity was granted the gift of redemption through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and not through good works. Both Adam and David were good men; matter of fact, Adam was literally perfect. The decision to sin is what caused the great men to fall. However, God did not leave them helpless and hopeless. He gave them consequences, but redemption and restoration were coming soon. Jesus Christ took the place of Adam as the perfect human and paid the price that we couldn’t. He didn’t leave us to suffer without offering a way back home to him. Similarly, David’s life is in shambles for a long time. However, he constantly asked God to forgive him of his folly and to create a way back home. With the death of his son, Absalom, the way was made. Eventually, David was able to return home and lived out the rest of his life in the place where he belonged. While Adam never went back home to the garden, he was able to return home to his Creator at the end of his life, and the death of Christ gives us the same opportunity.
#24 You Can’t Make Them Want You
The process of selling may seem like a foreign practice to some, especially if your career doesn’t demand that you directly interact with people for the sole purpose of offering products. However, what if selling is something you do every day, consciously or not? What if it is such a vital part of your social interactions that many, personal, frustrations can be tied back to that practice? What if this practice serves as the cornerstone by which many decisions are made? Working in sales, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and want to share my thoughts with you concerning this subject. More specifically, the idea of “offering what people won’t buy.” has stood out to me over the past few months. Why is this idea important? I’m not exactly sure, but I may have a good idea.
The idea of selling is not complicated. Career-wise, it’s the offering of a product to a prospect, in the hopes that they buy in. The layers of selling are so intricate and complex that there are entire divisions within companies dedicated to peeling back its secrets and using them to procure customers. Marketing, itself, is a degree specialization, in which the holder is equipped with tools to pique the interest of the public in favor of their employer. Time and effort, over many years, have been put into understanding how the human mind receives and translates information. What makes people tick and what makes them more agreeable? How will the public translate this commercial we’re creating? What makes people spend more or less? The answers to these questions, hopefully, will bring growth to any given company. Naturally, anything that doesn’t lead to the desired result is disappointing. I can only imagine making a commercial that doesn’t lead to growth in the product. Physical, mental, and emotional resources have been put into making this idea work, and it didn’t. While life does go on, one can’t help but notice the frustration in the marketing team’s voices at the weekly meeting. “All that effort, and nothing to show for it.”
Now, while this example is centered on corporate selling, it’s not so much different from how we sell every day. As individuals, we sell ourselves every day. Things ranging from music choices and hobbies to cultural backgrounds and family history make up your “brand.” This brand is the culmination of your individuality, and it’s always on display. One of the places that this brand becomes immediately important to us is when we begin to desire connection with people. Everyone has had an experience where someone has rejected them, and I don’t necessarily mean it in a romantic sense. Have you ever tried to be friends with someone, and they weren’t interested in you at all? All that effort and time is returned to you in a way that you didn’t want, generally resulting in disappointment. Your brand was rejected. It might not have been everything about you, or anything about YOU really? Sometimes it has to do with where the other person is. But, regardless, your brand was turned down and it sucks.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in sales deals with this moment. The moment where someone isn’t buying into your brand; the moment where what you offer isn’t what someone wants. What do you do? Many people continue to push their brand and change it until it fits into the “desirable” mold. Constantly trying to find what another person wants, and reconfiguring themselves until they fit into the desired slot, at least from what I’ve seen and also done. My coworker told me something I hope I never forget. They said, “You can’t make people buy what they don’t want.” It took me some time to let that sink in… You, as a person, will spend much of your time selling yourself to others. Sometimes, people will buy in, and sometimes they won’t. But, when people decide you aren’t worth buying into, there’s no way to make them change their minds. Matter of fact, it’s in your best interest to take their decision as a confirmation that the sale wasn’t meant to be… The more time you spend trying to make people want to buy into you that don’t want to, the more time is being wasted on covering up your brand in exchange for a temporary mask. Maybe the mask works for a time, but eventually, you will be screaming at yourself, wondering why you aren’t enjoying who’s around you or where you are. Why, because you hid your brand and changed it for the sake of others, hoping they would buy into what you weren’t but would be willing to become.
Keep this close to your heart, and never forget it. It’s all right to be you. Take pride in yourself. Love what you love! Go where you want and enjoy yourself! Make personal discoveries and share them with the world! Let people know who you are and be proud of it! Let you come out of you! At the end of the day, you can’t make people buy what they don’t want. But, those who want what you have will buy into you.
#23 The Sacrifices of Love
So, over the course of this week, I have been reading a book called The Compound Effect. In one of the chapters, the author recalls an experience he had at a seminar. The speaker asked, "what percent are you responsible for in order to make a relationship work?" 50/50? That seems reasonable. A little give and a little take, right? The speaker shut that idea down with a different response. He took a marker and wrote, 100/0. He said you are 100% responsible for the effort you put in and the choices you make in order to make it work.
As I read this I thought, "Wait a minute. What if I'm putting in all this love and getting nothing back, what about that? How is that fair?" It might not be fair, but the truth of the matter is that the principle of love is not based on fairness, but on grace, mercy, and giving. When Christ died on the cross, there was nothing we could do to contribute. Anything he would've asked for us to do to pay for our sins would've been insufficient. So, instead, he gave without expectation of return.
That, my friends, is what I think the basis of love is. "Giving without the expectation of receiving." In-text it makes sense, but the difficulty comes in the practice. The difficulty lies in the expectation that our efforts will be noticed and, hopefully, reciprocated. However, that might not always be the case. The people who rallied for Jesus' execution were the same people who begged for his love and mercy. Sometimes, the love we sow will not be reaped from the garden it was planted in. However, we can rest in knowing that the embodiment of love, Jesus, gave us an example of what it meant to love endlessly.
His request, on the cross, shows where his heart was for the people. "Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do." He was not bitter at them for being "hypocritical." He was not angry at them for being "two-faced." Instead, he pleaded that their transgressions be overlooked and deposited on Himself. Love is sacrifice. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us an outline for what the foundation of love should look like.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Patience is a sacrifice when you have a right to be snippy. Kindness is a sacrifice when you have the right to be angry. Rejecting envy is a sacrifice when you feel as though you deserve more. Rejecting boasts is a sacrifice when you've worked very hard. Rejecting pride is a sacrifice when you've built yourself up from nothing. Rejecting the urge to dishonor others is a sacrifice when they give you a reason to dishonor them. Rejecting a self-seeking nature is a sacrifice when you feel you deserve happiness and success. Rejecting anger is a sacrifice when you have every right to be angry. Forgetting records of wrong is a sacrifice when you are concerned about people taking advantage of you. Not delighting in evil is a sacrifice when delighting in it would be more beneficial. Rejoicing in truth is a sacrifice when it comes at the cost of your comfort. Protecting is a sacrifice because you become the shield that takes the blows for others. Trusting is a sacrifice because it puts betrayal on the table. Hope is a sacrifice because it leaves you open to disappointment. Perseverance is a sacrifice because it asks for the hope you may not have.
And yet, even though love is sacrificial, Christ paid that price for us. So, to anyone who loves anyone, don't be afraid to love. It will not be the easiest thing to do at times. But, there are 2 things you can always be sure of. 1. The love you give is never wasted. You may not see its outcome, but the effort is noticed by your heavenly father. 2. There is never a time or moment in life when nobody loves you. Christ died for us because He loves us and is always willing to come to His children when we call Him.
#22 God’s Way, Not Ours
You know, everybody has things that they desire and wish they had. Money, Fame, Power, Relationships, and the list goes on. Now, as Christians, we go to God with our desires in hopes that we get what we're asking for. This is not in the context of using God as a genie, but more in line with hoping that he gives us the desires of our hearts. Now, the funny part about these requests is that sometimes when we pray, not only is there something we want, but there's also a certain way that we want to receive it. For example, if we're asking God to give us more patience, what we want is for that effect to be instant. Instead, he'll send us somebody that stretches our patience to its absolute limit. Both accomplish the same task, but the latter is much better for our development in the long run. There's a story in the Bible that exemplifies this idea.
In 2 Kings 5, we read about an individual named Namaan. He was the commander of the Syrian army, and either had or could acquire whatever his heart desired. However, even in this state of success, he had one vulnerability that could instantly take away everything. Namaan was a leper. Leprosy was "THAT'' sickness nobody wanted. Those who had it would be cast out from their communities and forced to live among those who were also sick. They had to verbally warn people that they were unclean, creating a situation that dissuaded anybody from caring for them. He was the embodiment of power trapped with a secret vulnerability. Later in the story, he encounters a prophet Elisha, who tells him to wash 7 times in the Jordan river if he wants to be cleansed of leprosy. Namaan, unimpressed and slightly confused, responds with a list of what he thought were "better options." "Couldn't you just lift your hands and heal me?! Why the Jordan River?! Surely, there are better rivers I can use." For some time, Namaan was not open to the response of his plea. Instead, he had his own idea of how his deliverance should work, and in doing so, rejected the answers that were brought before him.
Now, this story does have a good ending, but it ended well because of Namaan's obedience. Eventually, he does as he's told and washes in the Jordan 7 times, being cleansed of leprosy. On the other hand, I’m not sure if I would’ve put myself in that river. Matter of fact, I often wonder what “rivers” God is trying to use in our lives to heal us but we reject them. There have been many moments where I have prayed and asked for guidance but did not like the response God gave me. Instead, I went my own route and decided to use my own judgment to advance my agenda. It never ended the way I wanted. We, as people, have things that we desire and really want God to give us. Asking in earnest, we wait with expectation for not only what we asked for, but also in the way that we asked for it. When rejection comes, we force our agenda in an effort to get what we want. Here's the thing though about God, following Him plays to our advantage. Once we realize that his intentions are only good for us, then we can begin to rest in the fact that he would never do anything to destroy us, but instead to constantly build us. Even if we don't get what we ask for in the manner in which we want it, we can rest in knowing that God's best is always the best option. Besides, if He looks after the birds in the air, how could He not immensely care for and adore that which he created to mimic himself? Pray for all things, but always be open to God's answer. It'll work out.
This week's verses:
2 Kings 5:1-14
Matthew 6:26
"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"
#21 Attitude Problem
You know, the story of Jonah sets an example for all Christians. However, it is not done in the way that we expect. He was, for all senses of the word, a prophet. He was a man chosen by God to deliver a word to a chosen people. In this case, the chosen people were less than desirable, the Ninevites. Jonah, not wanting to have any involvement with them, sailed away from the place he was called, abandoning the place he was called to. God decided to send a storm his way, and through a series of events, Jonah ended up in Nineveh delivering His message to the people. The people turned from their wicked ways and God showed them mercy; not destroying the city.
It’s here that Jonah reveals a common pitfall that people, especially Christians, can fall prey to. We see that even when he obeyed, Jonah had an attitude problem. Even though he was technically obedient, his heart was far from the people he was called to save. Instead of rejoicing in their deliverance and repentance, he throws a childish fit. He has an adult tantrum that reveals the true nature of his heart. He was angry at the compassion of the Lord.
My pastor and I talked about this false obedience. Jonah may have preached to the people, but his heart was wishing for their destruction. He wished for them to get what “HE” deemed they deserved. I can’t say that I haven’t fallen prey to that same wish at times in my life. There have been moments where I’ve asked God “why?” out of spite. It wasn’t necessarily because I deserved what someone else got, but I didn’t feel as though “THEY” deserved what they got. Was that selfish? Absolutely Was it surprising? Not at all. I own a scale of comparison that I constantly use to compare myself to the life of others.
This is not something I’m proud of, but it serves as a gauge to convince myself that I’m doing all right in life. I don’t feel like I’m at the bottom of the totem pole if someone is below me. This, really, stems from an incomplete understanding that my life is whole. God has blessed me and I should stand on the truth of who I am in Him. Jesus did that. Jesus knew who he was and didn’t waste time looking for life’s validation from the fall of others. His sole purpose was to save the lost, regardless of their circumstances. His gift of love came with no strings attached; unaffected by the desperate desire of man to look worthy to others. He really didn’t care. His mission was for the hearts of people and he accepted that completely.
#20 4 Things I Wish I Would’ve Known Before College Graduation
With this week signifying the end of the college journey for so many, I wanted to follow up on last week’s post about what comes next. This YouTube video is a talk I gave 3 years ago about some things I wish I would’ve known before I graduated college. While not in the same text style as I normally do, I hope you find this talk insightful and helpful to your post-college journey. God bless.
#19 What Next?
May 20, 2017, was the day I thought I always wanted. It was on this day that my academic career would come to an end. For the last 16 years, my life revolved around tests, assignments, and grades. Finally, I would be free of the procrastination monster and really begin to live life without having to worry about what number would appear on my next essay after it was graded! Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I’m free at last! Walking across the stage, the culmination of my efforts was presented to me in a green tube, accompanied by a congratulatory handshake and smile from the president of the college. Down the stairs, back to my seat, and 45 minutes later out the door, commencement was over. The last 16 years of my life had led me to this point! Everything I had worked for compiled into this very moment! I had done it; I was a college graduate! Then, as if I had been hit by a semi-truck, the thought struck me: “What next?” It was over.
Have you ever been lost in a process? The plan you created is set up just right and you’re doing what you set out to do. However, at some point, whether it’s during the plan or at the end of it, you feel lost. It is unnerving, frustrating, and honestly a bit confusing at times. Sometimes you wonder, “I’m doing exactly what I thought I should be doing, so what’s going on?! This is my dream, my plan, my purpose, right?” The answers that we come to begin to make less sense to us. Switching between majors, we are desperately trying to find the place where we “fit” into God’s plan for us. Graduating and looking for the areas or jobs where we can be effective in carrying out His will, or at least, what we think His will is turns into an exercise of irritation and patience for some of us. Working a job for a long time and debating whether it’s time to move on adds to the sense of mental and spiritual fog at times. Most people either have or will feel, lost at some point in their lives. Searching tirelessly for that place, that space in the puzzle of life where they perfectly fit. We search, and search, and search, losing energy and sometimes patience with our own selves, crying out to God: “Where do I fit?!” “Am I just wasting my time here?!” “What next?!”
This is something I’ve been dealing with over the past few years. Being lost is frustrating because there are moments where you are not even sure what’s wrong. “What’s wrong?” If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn’t be here, but instead dealing with the thing that’s bothering me. Instead, my mind begins to play over the infinite possibilities but yields no immediate answer. The more I ponder, the further away the answers seem to get. I want to get out of this mental place as fast as possible so that I can feel as though what I’m doing makes sense! What if, though, that’s the problem? What if I’m so busy trying to find the way that I’m missing the entire purpose of why I am where I am?
I can only imagine what crossed Joseph’s mind during his journey to become the second most influential person in Egypt. First, he is sold into slavery by his own brothers and given to a man named Potiphar! “Why am I here?” “How could my brothers, my family, do this and sell me into slavery?!” (I know the plans) While there, he worked hard and eventually climbed the ranks to become the second-in-command over the household, eclipsed only by Potiphar. This position, however, would be stripped away from him when Potiphar’s wife lied and accused Joseph of making advances towards her, knowing she was Potiphar’s wife. Joseph is sent to prison on the word of the wife. (I know the plans) Devastated by the course of events, I can only imagine what Joseph was thinking. “God, what in the world is going on?! Why has this been allowed to happen to me?! I’m so confused and hurt!” While in prison, he climbed the ranks and was eventually given authority over all the other prisoners. This put him in a position to meet the Pharaoh and assist him with a request. Eventually, this leads to him becoming the second in command over all of Egypt. (I know the plans)
Why was Joseph where he was during those moments in his life? He, probably, had no idea. Feeling lost and unsure of the next step is part of being human! Throughout his experiences, there were plenty of times where he was confused and upset by how situations resolved. However, there is a key thing that Joseph consistently did that set him up to be used by God. He did his best at whatever task was set before him. Here’s the thing, trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B isn’t our job. We do it or try to because it makes us feel secure and gives us a sense of stability.
The issue that this presents, though, is that we can get so caught up in finding that right path. Think about this for a moment. How can we completely and effectively prepare for a future that isn’t promised? The truth is, we can’t. There are steps we can take to “prepare” for what may happen, but there is no way we can plan out exactly how we will go through life. Fun fact, our God tells us not to worry! (Prepare, but don’t worry) “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt 6:34) So instead, we are to give our best to whatever has been set before us, regardless of the task. Our lives are like a giant puzzle, with each piece representing a different aspect of ourselves and our experiences. They, in time, will come together to form the picture of our existence, and the person putting the pieces together is the Creator. We are only responsible for being available to be used by God, not for trying to work out His mission in our lives. The Master knows his plans for us, and he’ll work them out if we follow him. (Thank God too, because I have a hard enough time deciding what I want for lunch sometimes!) College grads, keep these words in mind as you are preparing to transition from academia into adulthood: “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Scriptures for the Week:
Genesis 37 – 41 (Joseph’s journey to power)
Matt 6:34 - Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
May the Lord bless you in all that you do!
#18 Now or Later?
For me, the Bible story that displays a truly terrible transaction, taking second place only to the fall of man, has to be the story of Jacob and Esau. If you aren’t aware, let me give you a little back story. Jacob and Esau were the sons of Isaac. Isaac was, for all intents and purposes, a very wealthy man. Blessed by God over the years, he was nearing his time of death and needed to bestow the birthright upon one of his sons. (Think of a birthright as an upgrade to an inheritance. Not only would you receive money but also goods, services, respect, and the like. Almost as if you went from being a prince to a king.) Generally, this was supposed to be bestowed upon the oldest son and therefore belonged to Esau. Enter the pain of hunger…….no, I’m dead serious. Esau had gone hunting one day and returned with an empty stomach. Smelling the delicious aroma of food to be eaten, he begs his brother for a bowl of stew. Jacob refuses but offers him a deal. He would feed his brother in exchange for the birthright. Under no forced duress, Esau sold his future inheritance and enjoyed his bowl of stew.
Growing up, I never considered this story very important. I mean, it absolutely sucks that Esau sold his birthright for food, but he did just that. He sold it. Out in the fields hunting and gathering for the family, his body demanded sustenance and revitalization. In his desperation to be immediately satiated, he traded his future for the realization of a momentary desire. Have you ever done that? Have you ever made a decision that costs you your future for the price of immediate satisfaction? I would argue and say that everyone has. I love some good fast food while knowing how unhealthy it is. However, when I’m driving by McDonald’s and smelling those golden arches fries, you best believe my foot is going onto the gas pedal and into the drive-through. I place my order, wrap around the corner, and indulge my senses with the large fries and coke. That meal, however, has just placed a strain on my body that my future self will have to deal with.
There’s a big difference between living life and living an abundant life. In John 10, we read that Christ came that, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) The Greek word for that is perissos which is comparative to the idea of overflow. Christ came so that our lives could be fulfilling not only physically but also spiritually. He wants us to have joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. There are plenty of times, however, when we trade these qualities of abundance that Christ wants us to have for immediate gratification that can lead to destruction.
You cussed somebody out because they did something you did not appreciate. While it might’ve felt good at the moment, we just traded a potential ministry moment for emotional satisfaction. You went out last night and got completely wasted at the bar. At the moment, being hammered might feel amazing because it allows you to be someone else or feel something else. However, beyond the physical damage, you are causing yourself; you have begun to tie yourself to the feeling of being drunk, making it harder to escape from when you have the opportunity to indulge it. You called up that abusive ex because you miss being in a relationship. While you might feel secure in the moment; you’ve now opened the door for past hurts to resurface.
Everybody has a way to self-medicate and deal with the pains and struggles of life and it’s okay to figure what works for you. However, I think it’s important to understand when a form of medication is actually a toxin in disguise. One of the ways that we can experience the abundance of life is to learn how to rest in the love of Christ. I’m not saying that this makes the pain of life disappear, but it helps bring things into perspective. (God loves us and cares for us. He wants us to ask for help) We begin to realize that he does not wish for our own self-destruction and, instead, wants us to learn about the abundance he has. Resting in Christ can take many forms such as reaching out to trusted friends and asking for prayer, reading God’s Word, taking a walk to decompress, etc… So, as we learn to rest in Christ, I present a challenge this week. Whenever you are tempted with something that provides immediate gratification, ask yourself whether it is constructive or destructive to your future? What made Esau’s trade so bad was that his future was so much better than his present. However, his current circumstance caused him to forget his promised future. Don’t trade your future abundance for momentary satisfaction.
#17 Perspective and Love
So, there's an image that has been circulating around Facebook for some time that depicts 2 strangers looking at a letter. It is drawn to look like either a w or an m depending on the perspective of the individual looking. One says it’s a w and the other claims it’s an m. The entire point of the picture is to state that “Truth is a matter of perspective.” Now based on the situation, that only applies subjectively to the people involved. Somebody had to have drawn that number in the first place and knew exactly what they wanted it to be. Outside parties, however, have no access to this information and must draw a conclusion based on their individually limited information. Quite simply, this is the concept of perspective.
Perspective is a tool, a way for us to sort through and make sense of the world around us. Typically, our perspective becomes more rigid as the subject material gets closer to what we care about. To this point, I would like to pose a question to my fellow Christians...what is your perspective on the process of sharing the Gospel? Growing up, I remember an emphasis was always put on sharing the gospel with my neighbors and strangers; that they would come to see the love and freedom that Christ offers. Now, while I understand and agree with that sentiment, the methodology was something that confused me as I got older. The Great Commission says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20) This is a beautiful Scripture that lays out the plan for fellow believers, but I sometimes wonder how effective we are at this.
Church attendance has been falling since before the pandemic, and while I don’t believe that regular attendance makes you a Christian (more on this another day), I think that there’s something to be said about its decline. I fall back on the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians when he talks about love. He says, “If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-2) In this chapter, Paul is answering a question that our society has been constantly asking and even named a song after it: “What is love?” More so, he is highlighting how important it is that “love” be the foundation on which we do ministry. “Going and making disciples” becomes ineffective without love. Will people follow you? Maybe. But their foundation will be based on how you made them feel and not the love that Christ has for them. Once that feeling dissipates or changes, they turn to God in disappointment and frustration. “Teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” becomes ineffective without love. Will they “follow” the rules? Sure, but their obedience won’t come from love for Christ. It will come from conformity and fear of discipline. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone they are taught will send them to hell for breaking the rules? (That last statement was not to minimize the notion of consequences but to highlight the application of fear instead of love.) Speaking in tongues, prophecy, knowledge, and faith mean nothing without love.
I said all that to say this: I wonder how many people are turned off by Christianity because we are taught to “speak truth” but missed the “love your neighbor” portion of the Bible? I wonder how many people are turned off because they revealed their problems and were met with disdain and abandonment instead of love and hope from the Christian community? I wonder how many people are turned off by Christianity because they were promised an immediate solution to their problems in Jesus but nothing seemed to change?
I ask these questions because I have met these hurting people. Sometimes, the Gospel isn’t shared in a bible verse or a sermon. Sometimes, it’s the moment of silence when someone just needs a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, it’s the coffee meetup to check up and ask how someone is doing. Sometimes, it’s the text to see if someone needs help moving their furniture out of their house. Sharing the gospel does not have to rely on one specific version of execution. Not only did Christ spend His time preaching, but he also spent it living among people and serving them. Service can be just as powerful as speaking Scripture.
This post is written in love and care for all my Christian and non-Christian brothers and sisters. I hope, to everyone that isn’t a Christian, that one day you will come to see that Jesus loves you and died on the cross for you to save you. For all the Christians out there, let’s not get so caught up in preaching and defending the Bible that we forget how to love people. Jesus wants everyone to know that he loves them and I pray that we never forget that.
(P.S. Feel free to comment and share your thoughts on my thought. I invite and welcome thoughtful discussion.)
May the Lord bless you, lead you, and guide you this week in all you do this week.