#24 You Can’t Make Them Want You
The process of selling may seem like a foreign practice to some, especially if your career doesn’t demand that you directly interact with people for the sole purpose of offering products. However, what if selling is something you do every day, consciously or not? What if it is such a vital part of your social interactions that many, personal, frustrations can be tied back to that practice? What if this practice serves as the cornerstone by which many decisions are made? Working in sales, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and want to share my thoughts with you concerning this subject. More specifically, the idea of “offering what people won’t buy.” has stood out to me over the past few months. Why is this idea important? I’m not exactly sure, but I may have a good idea.
The idea of selling is not complicated. Career-wise, it’s the offering of a product to a prospect, in the hopes that they buy in. The layers of selling are so intricate and complex that there are entire divisions within companies dedicated to peeling back its secrets and using them to procure customers. Marketing, itself, is a degree specialization, in which the holder is equipped with tools to pique the interest of the public in favor of their employer. Time and effort, over many years, have been put into understanding how the human mind receives and translates information. What makes people tick and what makes them more agreeable? How will the public translate this commercial we’re creating? What makes people spend more or less? The answers to these questions, hopefully, will bring growth to any given company. Naturally, anything that doesn’t lead to the desired result is disappointing. I can only imagine making a commercial that doesn’t lead to growth in the product. Physical, mental, and emotional resources have been put into making this idea work, and it didn’t. While life does go on, one can’t help but notice the frustration in the marketing team’s voices at the weekly meeting. “All that effort, and nothing to show for it.”
Now, while this example is centered on corporate selling, it’s not so much different from how we sell every day. As individuals, we sell ourselves every day. Things ranging from music choices and hobbies to cultural backgrounds and family history make up your “brand.” This brand is the culmination of your individuality, and it’s always on display. One of the places that this brand becomes immediately important to us is when we begin to desire connection with people. Everyone has had an experience where someone has rejected them, and I don’t necessarily mean it in a romantic sense. Have you ever tried to be friends with someone, and they weren’t interested in you at all? All that effort and time is returned to you in a way that you didn’t want, generally resulting in disappointment. Your brand was rejected. It might not have been everything about you, or anything about YOU really? Sometimes it has to do with where the other person is. But, regardless, your brand was turned down and it sucks.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in sales deals with this moment. The moment where someone isn’t buying into your brand; the moment where what you offer isn’t what someone wants. What do you do? Many people continue to push their brand and change it until it fits into the “desirable” mold. Constantly trying to find what another person wants, and reconfiguring themselves until they fit into the desired slot, at least from what I’ve seen and also done. My coworker told me something I hope I never forget. They said, “You can’t make people buy what they don’t want.” It took me some time to let that sink in… You, as a person, will spend much of your time selling yourself to others. Sometimes, people will buy in, and sometimes they won’t. But, when people decide you aren’t worth buying into, there’s no way to make them change their minds. Matter of fact, it’s in your best interest to take their decision as a confirmation that the sale wasn’t meant to be… The more time you spend trying to make people want to buy into you that don’t want to, the more time is being wasted on covering up your brand in exchange for a temporary mask. Maybe the mask works for a time, but eventually, you will be screaming at yourself, wondering why you aren’t enjoying who’s around you or where you are. Why, because you hid your brand and changed it for the sake of others, hoping they would buy into what you weren’t but would be willing to become.
Keep this close to your heart, and never forget it. It’s all right to be you. Take pride in yourself. Love what you love! Go where you want and enjoy yourself! Make personal discoveries and share them with the world! Let people know who you are and be proud of it! Let you come out of you! At the end of the day, you can’t make people buy what they don’t want. But, those who want what you have will buy into you.
