#23 The Sacrifices of Love
So, over the course of this week, I have been reading a book called The Compound Effect. In one of the chapters, the author recalls an experience he had at a seminar. The speaker asked, "what percent are you responsible for in order to make a relationship work?" 50/50? That seems reasonable. A little give and a little take, right? The speaker shut that idea down with a different response. He took a marker and wrote, 100/0. He said you are 100% responsible for the effort you put in and the choices you make in order to make it work.
As I read this I thought, "Wait a minute. What if I'm putting in all this love and getting nothing back, what about that? How is that fair?" It might not be fair, but the truth of the matter is that the principle of love is not based on fairness, but on grace, mercy, and giving. When Christ died on the cross, there was nothing we could do to contribute. Anything he would've asked for us to do to pay for our sins would've been insufficient. So, instead, he gave without expectation of return.
That, my friends, is what I think the basis of love is. "Giving without the expectation of receiving." In-text it makes sense, but the difficulty comes in the practice. The difficulty lies in the expectation that our efforts will be noticed and, hopefully, reciprocated. However, that might not always be the case. The people who rallied for Jesus' execution were the same people who begged for his love and mercy. Sometimes, the love we sow will not be reaped from the garden it was planted in. However, we can rest in knowing that the embodiment of love, Jesus, gave us an example of what it meant to love endlessly.
His request, on the cross, shows where his heart was for the people. "Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do." He was not bitter at them for being "hypocritical." He was not angry at them for being "two-faced." Instead, he pleaded that their transgressions be overlooked and deposited on Himself. Love is sacrifice. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us an outline for what the foundation of love should look like.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Patience is a sacrifice when you have a right to be snippy. Kindness is a sacrifice when you have the right to be angry. Rejecting envy is a sacrifice when you feel as though you deserve more. Rejecting boasts is a sacrifice when you've worked very hard. Rejecting pride is a sacrifice when you've built yourself up from nothing. Rejecting the urge to dishonor others is a sacrifice when they give you a reason to dishonor them. Rejecting a self-seeking nature is a sacrifice when you feel you deserve happiness and success. Rejecting anger is a sacrifice when you have every right to be angry. Forgetting records of wrong is a sacrifice when you are concerned about people taking advantage of you. Not delighting in evil is a sacrifice when delighting in it would be more beneficial. Rejoicing in truth is a sacrifice when it comes at the cost of your comfort. Protecting is a sacrifice because you become the shield that takes the blows for others. Trusting is a sacrifice because it puts betrayal on the table. Hope is a sacrifice because it leaves you open to disappointment. Perseverance is a sacrifice because it asks for the hope you may not have.
And yet, even though love is sacrificial, Christ paid that price for us. So, to anyone who loves anyone, don't be afraid to love. It will not be the easiest thing to do at times. But, there are 2 things you can always be sure of. 1. The love you give is never wasted. You may not see its outcome, but the effort is noticed by your heavenly father. 2. There is never a time or moment in life when nobody loves you. Christ died for us because He loves us and is always willing to come to His children when we call Him.
